Feeling down and stressed by having too much in my head (my usual problem: wants to do everything, wastes time for nothing, does little) I was sat on the couch by my boy and asked to write down everything I want (to do of course, otherwise the list would be never ending). So in seconds I had a paper full of stuff. After debating, weighting the pros and cons of all the stuff, decision time came and I stuck to painting as the thing to focus on during my free time. Nope, I can’t paint but I never stop trying and I’m always disappointed by the final effect and you can kind of see why it’s a problem in general.
So feeling all good about leaving all the other stuff behind and trying not to think about the million other things I should/want to do, I hit the shops with my sis to help her pick an outfit for girly night out in town. This was her first time since baby so you can imagine how big that was. (Not) surprisingly I got something for myself too. BTW my sis of course looked fantastic but that’s no news.
Back to my purchase it must have been telepathically influenced by the whole painting thing as the dress looked like someone has done some painting in it! covered in colourful splashes of paint and accessorised with sparkly black thick belt. Nice.
I thought as this is a big night for my big sis we might as well go a bit over the top and I bought biggg fake lashes for both of us. They looked awesome 😉 and to top that up and forgetting about the ‘just a bit over the top’ I went mad and got some hair extensions too. Added glowing summer make-up, hi heels and hit the town.
This is where I really only should have started the subject 😉
I didn’t think I looked amazing (I never really do). I wasn’t looking at myself going: ‘wow I’m hot’- far from it! As always, having a last look at myself in a mirror before leaving all I could see were my imperfections.
But somehow, I was feeling good. Whether it was the half fake me that has never happened before or just having my sis out again, I don’t know- I was feeling good. And feeling good gave me confidence I normally lack. And that (seem to be) little change has made so much difference. I know people always say it, that it’s all about the confidence etc but to really experience it is a whole different thing.
I got more compliments that night than I ever did in my life before. I heard that I’m stylish, beautiful and all those things (a Bond Girl being the coolest one;) ) hundreds of times. My boy was more than amazed by my look although I personally think that there were times when I looked so much better! But I know that how I felt was completely different from the usual stressed, obsessed feeling of all my insecurities.
To sum up; does it mean that all this time I’ve been wasting trying to look good, I should have just thrown some fake lashes, tan and hair on and just have a good time ? !